Had I known how to save a life,

i would if i could.

but i couldn't and can only watch it fade between my fingers.

where did i go wrong?

it's a question i asked myself.

i chose to take on another path when the other one is blocked.

on tuesday, i was totally heartbroken right before the presentation.

3 artpieces were all destroyed right before the presentation,

not even when the others could hav a glimsp of it.

n i questioned,

did they fulfil their purpose of presence.

with a confident front today,

i completed my presentation.

it was almost perfect,

but,

who saw my numerous times of practicing n hiccups?

n we questioned,

should everything thats done behind the scenes be exposed to everyone else?

this afternoon, i heard another short story of what i shouldn't have known,

but if it's true,

i questioned,

what's more that can be done to stop u from making that dumb mistake?

n i realised it was none when u're determined.

i should be sleeping since i got my final paper tomorrow morning but the coffee's keeping me awake.
n i maybe getting iphone soon if it's cheap enough since singtel's kinda crazy to grab its market share b4 M1 n starhub step in with their iphone stocks too! ha good for us customers! yeap! so hope i'll manage to get a good deal then! n since Miss L's flying to nepal for her OCIP this dec, i reckon it's time for me to find something to occupy myself! it's either an internship or time for me to go for photo-trips again! school's making me miss out too much stuff... ha!

n i really need to start my job hunting..it's getting abit scary..but i'm fixing my mind on hotel industry for now.. law of positivity n attraction! i hope it really works this time round! oh well... back to the studying of my intelligence book.

if u ask me, why do i choose to go thru those process of overseas exchange, work n travel n ocip...i guess my answer for now is, if someone's gonna change, be it where she is or how old she is, she's gonna change... n the only thing u can do is to embrace n anticipate the unknown. oh well..

I had a strange dream,

in the dream, i was in this hostel where everything's being charged,

the air u breathe, the water u drink,the food u eat.

n the worst thing,

u're being watched.

with a big written rule on the wall,

if u break any of it, u face a punishment.

n so we did everything cautiously.

i had a bottle of pet clams,

n i did not dare to change its water till it got so murky,

all because i was too broke to pay the room fee.

until,

i found a tap n decided to change the water,

the clams came alive again as they creeped out of their shell.

end of dream.

it's quite a wonder that i can rem the details in that half an hour nap's dream. n i've been feeling very sleepy recently which made me stone infront of my text book n wondering what the hell m i doing. i'm hoping for these 2 weeks to zoom past quickly, to free myself from all these. but it would mean that u're gonna fly off too.

i miss that day when we braved thru the storm with my small umbrella and i had u held so closely with me.
i feel like dancing in the rain.
and
i'm missing u.

P.S. the thought of not seeing u for a couple of days, made it feel darn long...

recently i was totally drained from all the project meetings which made everyday darn long... it came to a point that i was getting lazy to response to the external stuff...

n i wonder... why must i be the one who accept the breakup when u feel like escaping n now being blamed for moving on? i rem i drew this picture in March..

u said i cant understand how u feel, u said i'll never understand y u made that choice. but it doesn't mean that u can just ignore the fact that i had my fair share of being hurt by u too. n were u there? no. n now u're back n expect i'll still be there waiting. what should i wait for in the first place? u want me to let u go..i did. so let me have a say on what i want.

it's sad that when we open up n let this other person know everything bout us.but in an instance, u 2 cant even be frens..也许这就是成为最熟悉的陌生人的悲哀吧..

recently i came upon this song n it depicts how i felt...

倒带

我受够了等待你所谓的安排 说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱 我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 一个人假日发呆
找不到人陪我看海

我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来 你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀

终於看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最後才把话说开
哭著求我留下来 终於看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开

你总是要我乖慢慢计划将来 我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎麽交代你该给的信赖 被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带 只是感觉已经不在

而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏 已经碎成太多块
要怎麽拼凑跟重来

终於看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最後才把话说开
哭著求我留下来 终於看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开

i have moved on n found someone who hav given me so much patience on the recent happenings.. sometimes love need not be repeated with words... thank u for being there to support me...

P.S. recently the doctor diagnosed that i'm suffering from tendon inflammation on my ankle. so i cant really jog far distance now... darn!

"爱， 原本就像喜怒哀乐般的简单。。只不过后来被美化与复杂化而变得不一般。"~RiC

it was a saturday filled with bright sun, great beach..

totally in an alpha state when i can getaway from all the troubles n work for the day.

n all we do was laughing bout all the small random things.

nice.

watched (500)days of summer n there's a line that i cant forget,

"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated"

but the best thing is,

u feel darn good once u got that will to walk out of it.

there was this part of the movie which kinda touched me with tom questioned why simple words about love had to be expressed by cards n not by ourselves? why cant we voice out love to our treasured ones in its purest forms without beautifying it?

cos loving someone can be so simple n beautiful.

but we just dont say it.

I think there's a reason why we're always looking for that feel of freedom.

No matter what i do, it just never seems right to you.

there was this evening i happened to see that the sky looked as if it's a calmy sea with light waves.

lorraine said it looked like cotton wool.